Suitable post title I think on many levels. The last couple of weekends have seen two consecutive storms but I’m loving time at home just doing house stuff. Through this sober journey I’m discovering quite a lot of simple pleasures, one of which is just pottering around the house. (Definitely a studio not a house). I’m getting around to doing lots of little jobs which I’ve been putting off for so long due to one hangover or another. My plants have been repotted and I’m getting up in time to make and enjoy breakfast at a reasonable hour. I even make Sunday roasts and I won’t be stop until I Marie Kondo my ‘whole’ studio.
It’s been just over 24 days now and I’m trying to make a habit of writing down how I’m feeling. And what thoughts pass through my head etc. It’s all too easy for me to get carried away just writing about what I get up to day-to-day which isn’t exactly the point of this blog. Maybe it’s a part of it, but I think it will be the most helpful if I document the emotional / physical stuff too.
So how am I feeling?
I’m definitely noticing that I feel more driven, and that I’m wanting to make better use of my time. At the same time I no longer feel that urge to constantly be out socialising, and I feel quite content just being at home on my own. I enjoy walks more and really take in what’s around me, and noticing the beauty in the details. My emotions can still be a little up and down but nothing dramatic. I think as the weeks progress this will also level out more and more with the help of more exercise and healthy diet etc.
I’m super proud of myself that I’ve not struggled more with not drinking on the weekends. Like I mentioned previously in my last post I am finding cigarettes a little harder in terms of cravings. But I’m still staying strong and sticking to my guns. I don’t think the hardest test has come yet, and perhaps thats why it’s been a bit more breezy. For example this weekend I did go to a couple of pubs but not for a prolonged period of time. I also went out to eat and the other person drank beer but I didn’t mind that either. Actually if you’re in London you should check out Mildreds. It’s all vegetarian/ vegan but even meat eaters love it. I can’t recommend it enough.
A big test has came up as I’m invited to a gig on Saturday. But after some thought I’ve decided to politely decline. I know the type of crowd that will be going and it will be quite a heavy night. I’m learning to be more aware of triggers and not force myself into situations I’m not ready for. I don’t even think it’s my type of music anyway so I’m not sure how comfortable I would be. So instead I messaged a friend and we’re going on a day trip if the weather allows it. And if not there’s a couple exhibitions on I’d like to see.
Tomorrow and Thursday I’m booked in with my friend Vlad to do a couple more tattoos. I might have gotten a bit carried away booking both days but then again why not. I’m also thinking about having a sobriety tattoo done at some point, but maybe not so soon as I would feel a bit silly. As I keep saying, one day at a time.